09 May Bearing the Unbearable
Joanne Caccciatore’s book ‘Bearing the Unbearable’ is a profoundly intelligent guide to heart-breaking loss. She draws on her own experience as the mother of a new born child who died. In this book, stories of unimaginable tragedy from others who have experienced traumatic grief also illustrate many different aspects of grief. She has gathered an understanding of grief from two decades working with the bereaved and bereft.
Through a deep familiarity with the process of mourning, her descriptions offer an empathic understanding of the realm of loss.
“We might never accept that our child or parent or spouse or grandchild or friend or loved one has died, but we can learn to accept how we feel about that loss, where in us the pain is most acute, its dimensions and texture, its tenor and depth. And over time, grief can morph from a dreaded, unwanted intruder to something more familiar and less terrifying – a companion perhaps.”
‘Bearing the Unbearable’ is divided into short chapters, each of which present nuggets of informed wisdom. Joanne Cacciatore manages to describe the experience of grief with soul-relieving words, while also offering a practical approach for living through the storms of suffering.
While ‘Bearing the Unbearable’ is a handbook for dealing with personal loss, Joanne Cacciatore also recognises the vital importance of processing grief on a macro level.
“…I suspect the bypassing of traumatic grief may be the greatest threat facing humankind today, responsible for immense suffering from addictions and abuse to social disconnection and perhaps even war. When we disconnect from our grief, we disconnect from ourselves, we disconnect from others and from the natural world.”
Joanne Cacciatore describes the possibility of a collective shift that is a counter cultural revolution when we “pause to be with grief.” She is also an advocate of self-care as a radical practice, and encourages us to grow self-compassion.
In her professional practice, she suggests creative expression, rituals large or small, and meaningful acts that commemorate our losses are all helpful ways of working with grief.
Grief Tending uses a blend of awareness and creative practices, alongside ritual. To see more about Grief Tending or find an event in London, Devon or online, see here.
Sarah Pletts is a Grief Tender and Artist who offers workshops in London and online, sharing rituals where grief on all themes is welcome. For more information about Grief Tending events see here.
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