Apprenticing to Grief

This morning I drew the Bear card from my Druid Animal Oracle Deck. It is the card which represents the marriage of primal power with intuition and ancestral origins. It is also associated with the winter solstice. Bear winters in a cave to contemplate, to resource, to go deep into earth. My personal apprenticing to grief included a prolonged period in the retreat process of chronic illness, a metaphorical cave.

My re-orientation to life after illness happened over time, and diving into the ‘Apprenticing to Grief’ programme in 2019 was an important step in confirming my purpose. Death, and dying are themes which I find compelling and had already been exploring for decades. I saw grief everywhere, yet often un-named, invisible or shunned. It was a relief to discover the practice of Grief Tending. The ancestral roots of Grief Tending are through Sobonfu Somé and the Dagara people of Burkina Faso. It offers the potential for personal and societal transformation. It meets the needs of these times for increasing resilience, by providing skills to repair, resource and re-engage.

In December, the time of the shortest days in the northern hemisphere, I find it helpful to review where I have been over the last year. This time I am using Robert Rowland Smith’s systemic questions in his New Year Self-Assessment. His questions offer provocative prompts for past, present and future. The Year Compass is another great self-reflection tool.

At the last winter solstice, I decided to say “yes” more often when presented with possibilities. “Follow the invitation”, as the advice for my Human Design type suggests. I followed. I said yes to co-designing ceremonies, and co-facilitating many Grief Tending spaces. I found myself being interviewed and interviewing others. I volunteered to teach animation at WAYout Arts in Sierra Leone, stretching into each new opportunity.

Remembering my ancestral roots, as the daughter of an English teacher, I have discovered this year that I really enjoy teaching. I am passionate about changing the way we think and speak around death and grief, using a creative approach. Since I first experienced ‘Apprenticing to Grief’ as a participant, I have been part of the team many times. In 2024, I said yes to co-facilitating the Apprenticing to Grief programme with Sophy Banks and Jeremy Thres.

The programme is an intense, practical and embodied journey into holding space for grief. People come to share the experience from a wide range of life histories, practices and professions. I find the temporary community that is created a rich experiential learning environment. I really appreciate all the students who have immersed themselves and brought their many gifts to the process.

I am delighted to be co-facilitating the Apprenticing to Grief programme again. It takes place over 3 weekends plus 2 evenings online. It is also available as a 7 Day in person programme in the UK. If you have benefitted from Grief Tending and would like to find out more about how to hold it in your communities, and to explore the process more deeply, it’s a great place to experiment.

And if you are longing for a taste of the medicine of Grief Tending, I am co-facilitating one and two day Grief Tending workshops with Tony Pletts, Bilal Nasim and Aama Sade. You can find our events here.

Sarah Pletts is a Grief Tender and Artist who offers workshops in London and online, sharing rituals where grief on all themes is welcome.  For more information about Grief Tending events see here.