18 Apr One Last Thing
‘One Last Thing: How to Live with the End in Mind’ by Wendy Mitchell is written from the inside of a life-limiting condition. She was diagnosed with early onset dementia at 58. Since then, she has written three books about her journey of life post diagnosis.
Mitchell writes with down to earth good humour, giving us an insider’s perspective of this unkind progressive disease. Dementia dismantles the life she had before, yet she is full of optimism about what is still possible to achieve. She is inventive in the way she adapts to the challenges. It is powerful to hear her voice which brings understanding and hope to others navigating dementia.
“I am aware that there is an edge now, even if I cannot see it as it comes closer. I am aware that more days after I finish writing will be spent in the fog – until the day when I don’t find my way back out again?”
In ‘One Last Thing’, she contemplates death in her characteristically practical way. Wendy Mitchel is a passionate advocate for those with dementia. She checks for judgements and assumptions that diminish the potential of people with the disease. Mitchell is also pragmatic about the paperwork and decision-making to be done. There is a great deal of ‘sadmin’ as she looks death squarely in the eye. She encourages everyone to have honest, thoughtful conversations. This is especially important in preparation for end-of-life in order that people may make their preferences known.
“I am not trying to tell you how death must be done, or how it should be done, or how it should feel for you. I just want to gently remind you that one day it will come, and the more prepared you are, the more conversations you are able to have with medical professionals and with those you love, the more empowered you will feel to live in the now – and you don’t need a progressive or terminal illness to do that.”
Wendy Mitchell recommends really thinking about all the options for a good death. This in order that people, especially those with dementia are able to have choices, and agency in those choices while they have capacity.
‘One Last Thing’ tells Wendy Mitchell’s relatable story, and she demonstrates how it is possible to be brave, sensible and kind as she turns towards her own ending.
Post Script
Since the publication of the book, Wendy has died. She did it in the way that she chose to on 22 February 2024. If you want to know more, and this may be a plot spoil, head to her final blog post.
If you are looking for somewhere to process grief of all kinds, you can find Grief Tending workshops online and in London here.
Sarah Pletts is a Grief Tender and Artist who offers workshops in London and online, sharing rituals where grief on all themes is welcome. For more information about Grief Tending events see here.
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