18 Apr Late Fragments
‘Late Fragments’ by Kate Gross is written from the lens of a terminal cancer diagnosis. I read books that take me into this life-affirming territory because they make me tingle. I suspect I guzzle mortality memoirs in the way others read chick lit. In her own words:
“I know that people will want to read my story because it takes them to the edge of their fears about dying young, leaving the people who need them.”
Kate Gross describes her triumphs and failures as she approaches her death. She speaks of “our future that melted away overnight.” For those who know Francis Weller’s Gates of Grief, this loss of future is a clear example of ‘What we expected and did not receive’. The imagined readers – her children in years to come, set the tone of the book’s intention. Through writing she manages her living time, and plans her dying time.
Like any ‘momento mori’, this reminder of death is also an invitation to live with eyes open. These ‘Late Fragments’ are written to capture and to encourage us to find wonder. When the outer activities of life are stripped away, and we slow down, can we also enter into the realm of wonder?
“All I can do is explain how wonder emerged for me as the world and I met, and how it has grown stronger and brighter even as my world has got smaller and dimmer.”
‘Late Fragments’ is not written by an expert on cancer, or on grief. It is an engaging personal account from the front line of a terminal diagnosis of colon cancer. It is packed with cherished memories of friends and family. The life Kate Gross describes is both worldly and ordinary. Time is spent on the sofa, in parenting and includes words like ‘bum’.
In fact, I was horrified that because of a reluctance,
“to speak of our rear ends, most colon cancer is detected between stages two and four,” with detrimental consequences. So, I encourage us, in honour of Kate that we challenge the inhibitions that delay us from checking our bowel movements and symptoms that may be warning signs.
Kate Gross also speaks for the person-who-is-dying’s needs for the kind of communication that comes with sensitive offers and ordinary chat, without advice-giving, or the need for a reply. Our own anxiety or desire to do good can burden the person already dealing with much into taking care of others’ emotional needs.
Lines from poets and author’s, are woven into ‘Late Fragments’. Kate Gross’s passion for words enlivens the narrative. She uses them to inspire and illuminate the steps of her own journey towards death.
To find Grief Tending workshops online and in London and Devon, see here.
Sarah Pletts is a Grief Tender and Artist who offers workshops in London and online, sharing rituals where grief on all themes is welcome. For more information about Grief Tending events see here.
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