24 Apr Braving the Wilderness
‘Braving the Wilderness’ is a gem of sense-making by Brené Brown. She extrapolates from her detailed research to illuminate cultural patterns of behaviour. In this book, she takes on belonging, and in its absence, “the lonely feeling”. With her signature Texan flavour, she communicates how to make brave choices to speak out and be courageous.
Brené Brown shot to fame with her Ted Talk ‘The Power of Vulnerability’. She has continued to study vulnerability along with its relatives, shame, empathy and courage. The full title, ‘Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone,’ speaks to the resilience necessary to be true to yourself, in the face of resistance. How do we speak truth to power, defend our values, advocate for what we believe in?
Learning from her research subjects, Brené Brown has put together a guide for navigating through differing opinions to risk not fitting in, in order to find true belonging. While the book is about leadership and belonging, it offers pathways to repair collective grief.
The steps in ‘Braving the Wilderness’, from the evidence-base suggests, read like a recipe for Grief Tending.
>“We’re going to need to intentionally be with people who are different from us. We’re going to have to sign up, join, and take a seat at the table. We’re going to have to learn how to listen, have hard conversations, look for joy, share pain, and be more curious than defensive, all while seeking moments of togetherness.”
Building connection across difference, through sharing vulnerability and joy is how we bridge love and loss, grief and praise. Being willing to do this takes courage.
She identifies steps to risk vulnerability and find belonging. Joining with others to celebrate with food or music is an essential ingredient. Working with gratitude helps to grow joy too. Brené Brown’s conclusion:
“The answer that emerged from my research shocked me. Show up for collective moments of joy and pain so we can actually bear witness to inextricable human connection.”
First published in 2017, ‘Braving the Wilderness’ predates the exponential growth of culture wars, the proliferation of certainty and polarised debates. (For a background history on culture wars, listen to Jon Ronson’s ‘Things Fell Apart’.) Collectively, we would do well to pay attention to Brené Brown’s findings in order to navigate these times.
If you would like to experience how vulnerability builds connection through Grief Tending, you can find workshops in London, Devon and online here.
Sarah Pletts is a Grief Tender and Artist who offers workshops in London and online, sharing rituals where grief on all themes is welcome. For more information about Grief Tending events see here.
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