20 Jun Celebration Day
There are times to grieve, and when it feels right, celebrating someone’s life can be another important acknowledgement. Everyone’s different, and this might be soon after a funeral, or years later.
Celebration Day is happening this year as a dedicated opportunity to do something special to remember someone. It might be a friend, family member, or a distant ancestor. Many people already mark specific dates – perhaps a birthday or anniversary. For others, there may be a longing for a wider awareness of the cycle of life and death. The rising popularity of Halloween and Dia De Muertos (Day of the Dead) point to this upsurge in hankering for communal rituals on this theme.
Love and loss are so tightly woven together, that the invitation to honour someone’s life will also create space to grieve. I know I can feel reluctant to make time to be with feelings. The intention is to have an annual day where we can plan to pay attention to someone we love, who is no longer here.
What you might choose to do is up to you. It could be a small personal tribute, or something bigger. Perhaps it might be a part of ‘finding meaning’ for you, as a project or gathering inspired by the person who has died. David Kessler names making meaning as one of the stages of grief (that may co-exist with or follow others).
It doesn’t have to be a huge gesture. I rang family members on my Mum’s birthday. Five years on from Rob’s death we gathered and sang Bowie’s ‘Five Years’, and then read out poems that were composed by him. You can see some ways to get involved on the Celebration Day website, and an invitation to submit your ideas and plans.
Nicholas McInerny has written ‘Common People’ inspired by his friend Andrew’s final days in hospice, (imagine latex, leather and dancing!) The play had its first public reading on Celebration day.
The death of my father John was an initiation that began my enquiry into mortality. His thesis – a large orange tome with his name, “CRS Thesis 1982” on the spine has been unread on my shelf for the last 34 years. Some words underlined on the synopsis include, “talking about feelings…caring for communities…responses to major social problems…discoveries about being ill-at-ease…” I wish I could discuss our common aims now. I have decided to spend some time this Celebration Day reading some of his words. I spotted a note in his distinctive hand-writing in the margin, which still has the power to catch at my heart. I have poured him a brandy, and picked a rose from the garden in his honour too.
We’re also hold regular Grief Tending workshops, in case you’re not yet ready to celebrate.
Sarah Pletts is a Grief Tender and Artist who offers workshops in London and online, sharing rituals where grief on all themes is welcome. For more information about Grief Tending events see here.
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