Is This Grief Counselling?

29 Jan Is This Grief Counselling?

Grief counselling or bereavement counselling usually happens one to one with a counsellor or therapist who specialises in grief. Grief Tending usually happens in a group with a focus on grief. A Grief Tender facilitates a group using exercises, practices and rituals to connect with feelings.

Grief Tending rituals may include symbolic use of elements – such as pouring water. The participants in the group move between roles; to be griever and then witness or supporter. A group comes together with the intention of sharing grief. This act of communal exploration can provide validation of our experience, and help us to empathise with others. Instead of solely being immersed in our own perspective, we see that others also suffer. People may experience connection with the group that grief counselling alone cannot provide. Grief Tending may profoundly alter someone’s sense of isolation.

Individual grief therapy or counselling can be exactly what we need if we are in an acute grieving process, and unable to switch our attention to other people for the duration of a workshop. Grief or bereavement counselling may also offer the support we need before and after a Grief Tending event. One-to-one sessions and group work are excellent complementary ways of working.

There is more time and attention available one-on-one for people to be heard at length, and to go deeply into their experience over time. It can be important that a therapist has specific knowledge and experience around working with loss. Most therapists and counsellors will be happy to answer questions or be available to discuss this at an introductory meeting. Often our gut response or intuition are the best guides for us to identify the therapeutic approach or practitioner that will suit us.

Many grief counsellors use “talking therapy”. This can be a really helpful approach. It may also be beneficial to find practitioners that work ‘somatically’, including the body. One-to-one bodywork can also be really supportive in the wake of loss. To hear more about the differences between Grief Tending and bodywork, watch ‘On Working With Grief’ with Sarah Pletts and Max Mora.

In Grief Tending we bring together different ways to work with grief, and pay attention to the physical – noticing symptoms and sensations, using movement and non-verbal expression, as well as words. As part of Grief Tending, we encourage people to try the tools we offer as part of an enquiry to find out what works best for them.

Working one-to-one with a grief counsellor, joining a Grief Tending event or working with both are all valid. We may need different things at different times when we are on a journey with grief. Grief Tending isn’t grief counselling, but it may partner grief counselling, or be an alternative to it. Sometimes people come to a single Grief Tending workshop, or choose to come regularly. Others come from time to time, when they need the support of a group.

You can find Grief Tending events coming up online and in London here.

Sarah Pletts is a Grief Tender and Artist who offers workshops in London and online, sharing rituals where grief on all themes is welcome.  For more information about Grief Tending events see here.