05 Dec Lonely at Christmas
The season of winter festivals may bring celebrations, and it may also be a time of year when loneliness and depression takes hold. If you are feeling lonely and things don’t look bright through your eyes, the pressure to have a good time can isolate further.
There are many reasons to feel unhappy at this time of year. Grief can feel particularly intense in the absence of loved ones, whether through bereavement or estrangement.
Being with family can also be a source of stress. Family dynamics can be complicated and heightened at Christmas. They may be exacerbated by different values or political views, addiction or anxiety. Tensions may be increased with financial pressures that come with expectations of present giving and consumption of seasonal food and drink.
Grief Tending is one way to approach loneliness and find connection in December and January. Creating a variety of ways to find support is also an important element of a Grief Tending practice. It’s something that we encourage people to think about before, during and after a Grief Tending workshop. Find Grief Tending events here. You can read more ways to find support in this article on Dealing With Grief.
Here are a few suggestions of things that may be supportive, but the possibilities are endless. What works for you? Make a list of simple activities that soothe your nervous system. Talk to someone (about anything). It can be a helpful way to shift our brains into a different gear. Make time to chat with that old friend. Watch something that makes you laugh. Are there crafting activities that engage you? Sing in the shower. Take a walk or get your body moving in ways you enjoy. Feel into your pleasure – what sensations will bring you delight? Cook something delicious, just for you. Spray something that smells lovely in your space. Feed the birds. Have a kitchen disco. Schedule an appointment with someone who offers professional support ahead of time.
It can also counter our feelings of aloneness to volunteer or offer our services to someone who needs them. Crisis are sometimes overwhelmed with supporters at this time of year, but there may be a friend or neighbour who could use your attention.
It can also be helpful to prepare so that we have strategies in place to support our mental health and self-care for times we know will be difficult. Plan for small ways to make connections at times we anticipate feeling lonely. Mind is a great source of information for mental health including tips for coping with Christmas. The Samaritans offer a fantastic listening service, for those who need support, and not just at times of extreme difficulty.
Sarah Pletts is a Grief Tender and Artist who offers workshops in London and online, sharing rituals where grief on all themes is welcome. For more information about Grief Tending events see here.
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