09 Jun Different Grief Ritual Sizes
Different Grief Ritual Sizes
Whatever the size or format of the Grief Tending rituals and events we offer, they all follow a similar shape, and include the same arc of experience. We begin by building connection within the group, and calling on support. Then we offer exercises to help surface feelings. A central grief ritual allows emotions to be expressed, and then we are welcomed back into community. This is followed by gentle soothing. Towards the end, we do some tasks to help us integrate our experience of the session before closing.
A Big Grief Ritual
The Embracing Grief Team and Sophy Banks are holding ‘Tending the Heart’, a 4 Hour Grief Tending communal grief workshop in London with the capacity for up to 100 participants plus a large team to provide support. It has the potential to be a powerful experience, an opportunity to share a big grief ritual with many others.
Small Group Grief Workshops
The size of the group we are in effects the shape and impact of the event. In our small group workshops in London, the maximum capacity is 12 participants plus 3 Grief Tenders in the team. At this size, everyone will be able to hear something from each person. A small group allows everyone to feel connected. It is intimate. We may feel visible, which may be both exactly what we hope for, and uncomfortable for some. The facilitators will have direct contact with each group member. There is usually an option for stepping into a quieter space, or having a one to one chat with a team member if needed, to support someone’s ability to participate.
Medium Size Grief Workshop
In a medium sized group of 13-24, there is usually a bigger team supporting the participants. There may be exercises in small groups, where intimate sharing is possible. But not everyone will hear from each person. A group ritual is likely to have more energy than in a small group. There are more potential connections to make, so it may feel less intimate, but also provide more opportunities to meet different people or find those with shared experiences. The group itself may be a dynamic mix of people. The facilitators will still have direct contact with every member of the group. We have capacity for up to 20 participants plus team at our new venue in Devon.
Big Grief Ritual Events
We design the format of the session to accommodate the size of the group. We also take into consideration the surroundings. In a large event with more than 25 people, everyone will not necessarily meet or hear from each person. The group itself takes on more of a holding role. The facilitators will hold the space and steer the energy of the whole group, but not have direct contact with every person.
The big workshops and community rituals which we have held at festivals have comprised 150-200 + participants, depending on the available space. This may allow people to feel more anonymous, to try the practice with less self-revelation. Strong singing and drumming may happen in a big group, offering another layer of community holding. This kind of stimulation and noise may also be overwhelming if sensory processing is challenging for someone.
Grief Tending rituals with Sobonfu Somé, one of the main conduits of Grief Tending as a practice, would regularly hold huge groups. When a gathering of this size comes together, there is opportunity for a very potent ceremony.
People often have different needs, and understanding these different grief ritual sizes may help someone recognise what is right for them. Our frequently asked questions page includes more information about different formats of event – such as online or in person, one or two day events. You can see more about Grief Tending, and different workshops here.
Sarah Pletts is a Grief Tender and Artist who offers workshops in London and online, sharing rituals where grief on all themes is welcome. For more information about Grief Tending events see here.
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